Anger- it seems to sit below my surface all the time.
Sometimes closer to the surface other times further down but always there. Since
I will not accept that I am this angry, I will continue to do things that show
how angry I am, like hurting others.
So I am angry. To change this, I will use this anger to
motivate me to kick ass. For so long, I have
said I am not really interested in being a person who kicks ass yet deep inside
I know that is not true; I want to be that person about which other people say “I
want to be like that.” So what has stopped
me?
I would really like to avoid the actions necessary by going
into the why of it all but that just is a diversionary tactic I learned long
ago. In order to kick ass, I must face the core beliefs I have, challenge, and
change them through actions. I am scared that I will fail, I am scared I cannot
be the image of me I want to be, YET I must try without bias. By bias, I mean, without my slant shadowing
everything.
Each day is a gift. Only if I use that gift to the fullest
will I be able to look at myself and say, “I kick ass!”
You do "kick ass" in so many ways I can't wait for you to see it in yourself. You are an amazing person with the power to overcome all of this and be anyone you want to be. I just know some of the best days of your life are just a head of you. XOXO
ReplyDeleteThank up so much for the support!! Sometimes I just won't allow myself to see my own strength and abilities. It is as though because I am angry, I will not let myself succeed. Yet i will not give up on having a kick ass life because I see others who have it and I know I want it!!!
DeleteYou can only accomplish that which you set out to accomplish. In the movie Wallstreet, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) uttered the immortal line "Greed is Good".
ReplyDeleteThere is a time and a place where 'anger is good'. It is a powerful and at times motivational force. It seems that you have put energy into not being disappointed. To reach that end you set low or non-existing expectations. Nothing ventured ~ nothing gained.
Seek to achieve and allow yourself to get angry if you suffer a level of disappointment. I think that Thomas Edison said "I have not failed...I just found 10,000 ways that do not work". Never give up.
Pat
What an amazingly perceptive comment! I do set fairly low goals and try to find happiness by fulfilling those low expectations. I often get upset when others do not express happiness when I succeed at that easy goal. It seems to me that this is to get the attention I want without putting myself out there too much, in other words, little risk to experience little pain in case of possible failure.
DeleteI know I keep saying thank you for your comments but I do so because I am so appreciative of you spending anytime to read and think about my life. So thank you!!!