Sunday, May 11, 2014


I am aware of what the word priorities means yet I really struggle with how to prioritize all the things I want to do in life. Right at this moment, as I type this, I am struggling with whether I should be doing a blog entry or finishing the shirt I am making for Nadine. It is hard for me to decide which activity I should do in each moment.

I decided to share this struggle with William (Nadine in guy mode) at dinner this evening, and he had a great analogy. He said I should look at it like a triage, as in which "patient" needs the most attention right now. It has been an interesting way to see the last couple of hours. I have many things I want to do all the time and often, I get stuck in the "what next?" phase and end up wasting time. So instead, I have, like I said, in the last 2 hours, been taking care of the next most needy "patient."

I see that I will still struggle in whether what I chose to do was the best choice, but at least, I can make a choice and do one thing I want. With each choice about what is next on the priority list, I suspect I will get more confident with my choices, thus making the next choice less "heavy."

Where are you with this? Do you have a hard time prioritizing, too? Do tell. :)


Thanks for stopping by!!!

Monday, May 5, 2014

Do You Say "I Don't Know"?

"I don't know."

How many times do you say this without even thinking first? It has been a go to response for me for years. I think I do it because I either don't care or I am unsure of what to say right away, and I think I will look weird if I don't respond right away. These things have clearly been depression.

Thinking about that today, it's bugging me. I don't like when people think I am incompetent yet I go ahead and say that which obviously says I am being incompetent. Depression allows me to act in ways that when talking about that characteristic in others bothers me.

My thought is to allow myself to slow down in my responses and think an answer through clearly. Now I do realize that I do not know everything and it is okay to admit it, but it will not sit well with me if I knee jerk a response of "I don't know."  To form new patterns, I plan to not answer with the same response. So if I am not sure about anything, I will be honest and say that I am not sure and then offer a thought I have about the situation.

Depression feeds on my insecurity and I want to starve my depression so I want to address this aspect of my insecurity (and all other aspects as they come up.)

So do use this response also?

Hope all is well in your part of the world! Hugs!!!

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Journaling for Health

I started journaling a few days ago. I did not really know exactly what I was going to write in my journal except that it had to be about me. Journaling is sort of an odd idea to me, and I have resisted doing it even though I had read it is helpful with depression. I guess I have not wanted to write to myself, to face what's going on inside, and finally let go. 

Yet contrary to my thoughts about it, I have been enjoying writing to myself and want to continue. :) I think it can really help me to look more clearly at myself.  The other day I started writing about feeling like I am not being listened to, but by the end of the time I was writing, I saw that I was really upset about not being listened to by myself. 

It came through in the writing that I am really not upset at others for not listening to me; what was really pissing me off was that I do not listen to me.

Example:  I say I want to diet to lose weight, yet then I go and eat what ever I feel like. Well, there are many reasons that I want to be at a lower weight, like fitting back into many of my clothes, feeling sexier, feeling confident and strong. The writing helped me to see something important to me fighting depression. Because every time I decide to not listen to my own desires to be at a lower weight and eat, I do not like myself thus furthering, or feeding, my depression. 

This is making me want to look for other aspects of my life that are feeding the depression. so I will put in the effort to journal. I do want to beat depression and this could help.:)

Do you journal? What has it done for you?