Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Depressive Thinking

I mentioned a workbook a few posts back, Antidepressant Skills Workbook, that I have been working with, and I wanted to share part of it with you. There is a section about Depressive Thinking and the antithesis, Realistic Thinking. I have been learning about the most common kinds of depressive thinking and what thinking in the opposite way looks like. Flashcards work for me to remember new vocabulary or in this case, phrases. I want to know each of these without having to refer to the book because I am tracking the frequency of these kinds of thoughts to help me be self-aware of how I am thinking. After thinking in depressive manners for so long, I usual don't see that I am having depressive thoughts. I am trying to see myself more clearly and see what patterns there are in my thinking so I am marking down in a little notebook each time I or my husband notices me thinking in one of these depressive ways. It will take time for me to get practiced at noticing it; I will get it. :)

So below is an excerpt from the workbook I mentioned. Its a long excerpt, but I think its worth a  read. You may be surprised to find that you, too, are sometimes thinking depressive thoughts. I have a lot of check marks in the Mind Reading one listed below.

Alrighty lovely people; I hope you are well and in good spirits!! Hugs!!

"Learn to identify depressive thoughts

Depressive thoughts are unfair and unrealistic. They are distorted because they are inaccurate reflections of how the world is or how you are. The table below describes some common forms of distorted thinking in depression.

In this kind of depressive thinking, you only look at the bad, never the good. Because all you see is the negative side, your whole life appears to be negative. But realistic thinking equally considers positive and negative aspects of your life.

In this kind of depressive thinking, one negative event seems like the start of a never-ending pattern. If one friend leaves, they all will. If you fail the first time, you’ll fail every time. But realistic thinking recognizes that one disappointing situation does not determine how other situations will turn out.

All or Nothing Thinking.
You see the world in terms of extremes. You are either fat or thin, smart or stupid, tidy or a slob, depressed or joyful, and so on. There is no in-between. Gradual progress is never enough because only a complete change will do. “Who cares that I did half of it? It’s still not finished!” But realistic thinking sees people and events as falling somewhere between the extremes, towards the middle, where most things are found.

A small disappointment is seen as though it were a disaster. For example, you were slightly late in completing a small project, so your entire month is ruined: you react to the imagined catastrophe (a terrible month) rather than to the little event (a late project). But realistic thinking sees events in their true importance, not overemphasizing negative events.

You talk to yourself in a harsh way, calling yourself names like “idiot”, “loser”, or whatever the worst insults are for you. You talk to yourself in a way you would never talk to anyone else. But realistic thinking doesn't use these kind of insults because they are not fair, you wouldn't talk to anyone else that way, and they are unnecessarily discouraging.

You feel as though you know what others are thinking about you, and it’s always negative. So you react to what you imagine they think, without bothering to ask. But realistic thinking recognizes that guessing what others think about you is likely to be inaccurate, especially when you are depressed.

You feel as though you know what the future will bring, and it’s negative. Nothing will work out, so why bother trying? But realistic thinking recognizes that you don’t know how things will turn out: by staying open to the possibility of positive results, you’ll be more hopeful and more likely to make things better.

It’s only good enough if it’s perfect. And because you can’t make most things perfect, you’re rarely satisfied and can rarely take pride in anything. But realistic thinking gives credit for accomplishments, even if the result is less than perfect. Few of us reach perfection in what we do, but our achievements are meaningful.

You think that you know how the world should be, and it isn't like that. You know what you should be like, and you aren't. Result: You are constantly disappointed and angry with yourself and with everyone around you. But realistic thinking understands the limitations of the world and of yourself — trying for improvement but also accepting how things are.

There are other types of depressive thinking, but these are some of the most common ones. When you catch yourself thinking depressingly, it can be useful to look at this list to see if you are using one of them."

Copies of this book can be downloaded at no cost from: www.bcmhas.ca or www.carmha.ca/publications.

Antidepressant Skills Workbook
by Randy Paterson PhD & Dan Bilsker PhD

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

So What's Going On With You? :)

I was checking my stats for this blog today, and I thought I would throw out an idea to anyone who might read this blog.

This blog is about me figuring out and the logging of my journey of dealing with my depression. Yet it occurred to me that it could be something else, too.

I am inviting anyone who reads this blog to share their own thoughts about their life, about depression, about joys, about anything you think someone else could benefit from reading. Share your story and help someone else not feel alone in their experience.

This came to me today because it is true that I am afraid of my depression.  I have some incorrect notions about what it means to be a person who suffers from depression, thus I am scared that if I admit I am depressed, it means I am bizarre and abnormal, and that makes me uncomfortable. :(

So if we all share more about ourselves with others, then we can feel less odd and alone in our world. I may not do a blog post very often, but I check for new comments everyday. SO if you leave your story, I will get it into the comments asap.

Personally, I have followed my self-destructive patterns again of starting something new and then putting it aside. I am not giving up though; I am assessing what I've been doing (with help form my amazing husband), revisiting my workbook, and adjusting what I have been doing that is not on target with the goals I have set.

Shit, reading that last part back makes me sound like I know what I am doing; far from it. I am blessed with a husband who is really on my side and is willing to call me on my bullshit. Thank all things big and small!!

Okay, so don't give up! I won't either.

Share what ever you'd like about you and your experience. Let's help each other!!

Saturday, July 19, 2014


Hi all! Since its been a while since the last post I wanted to just say a quick hello. I am continuing to learn about and work on my depression. I am beginning to see the patterns that have come from depression and am trying to break those patterns. A work in progress. :)

 I hope you are all doing well. Drop me a line and let me know how you are doing. Connections with others help me, and I know it can help others as well.