Sunday, August 17, 2014

What Do I Know?

I know that sounds like a personal insult but its not. What I mean by the title of this post is that I need to question what I think I know. I have been living with the influence of depression for many years thus it seems pretty likely that some of what I think about life is not based in reality.

I have had a hard time pushing my self to do the things I want to that are good for me, and allow me to feel good about myself. Many times, I see doing those things as a burden.  Doing good things for myself like doing yoga is a burden? Weird, huh? Also, many times I start doing good things like yoga and then stop. Both of these ways of thinking are depressive in nature and not healthy for me. So I have been trying to keep up with the things I want to do to take care of myself. I am not doing a lot of these things because I am still focusing on identifying whenever my depressive thoughts occur. But I am seeing that my focus can be on one thing, like looking at myself and the occurrences of depressive thinking, and also further myself along in my goals.

How do you handle taking care of yourself? Do you avoid taking care of yourself and busy yourself with other things?

On another note, yet related, I am saddened and angered at the suicide of Robin Williams. He suffered from depression and apparently had recently learned he had Parkinson's disease, and although all of that is quite a burden, I think he should have found a way to see the reasons he had to live. Depression is heavy and hard to deal with YET it is not a reason to take your life. I do not believe suicide is a sin; that is not where this thought is coming from. I actually believe if someone's quality of life has gotten really bad, that they should be able to end their life. But that does not seem to be the case for Mr. Williams. My heart goes out to his family. They are now the ones left with the burden of his absence.

Take care of yourself!! :)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I Under Estimate Its Sneakiness

The weird thing about depression is it sneakiness. :)  What I mean by this is that if I am not vigilant about what is going on with me and how I am choosing to live each day, each hour, then my depression will continue to be created and fed.

I have not been learning the skills needed to cope with and fight depression but I can and I will. The only reason depression can sneak up on me is because I deny its in my life.

OMG !! Writing this has been awkward and not clear. Blah . . .  Ok that's all for now basically.

How about you- does depression ever seem to "sneak up" on you?

Hope you are well  and in good spirits. :)